Boy Asked Ggirl
Once upon a time
a boy asked a girl
"will u marry me"??
Girl Said: "NO"
or is tarha wo larka hansi khushi rehney laga.....!
:) :) ;)
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HOSE NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY PETS!
A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender give me a triple shot of Jack".
The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".
The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".
As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"
The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."
The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."
The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"
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THE TALKING PARROTS
A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!"
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THREE WISHES
A little old lady was in the kitchen one day, washing the dishes when suddenly a little genie appeared beside her.
"You've led a long and good life" the genie said, "I have come to reward you by granting you three wishes. Ask for anything you want and I will make it happen."
The old lady was surprised but cynical. Not really believing that anything would happen she decided to play along for a minute. "Ok" she said, "turn all those dirty dishes into money." With that there was a big Poof! and the dishes had turned into a big pile of cash.
"My" said the old lady, staggered that it had actually worked, "Perhaps you could make me look young and beautiful again?" There was another big poof and the woman now looked lots younger and was very good looking. Excitedly she carried on, "Can you turn my dear old cat into a handsome young man?"
Once more there was a big Poof, and the cat was replaced by a handsome young man. Smiling devilishly she turned to the young man and said "At last! Now I want to make love with you for the rest of the day and all night too!"
The young man just looked at her for moment then replied in a high pitched voice, "Well you should have thought about that before you took me to the vet's shouldn't you!"
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THE RABBIT AND THE SNAKE
*A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.
The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.
He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."
The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.
He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..."
The snake says, "Oh no, I'm a lawyer."
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A TRIP TO THE CINEMA
A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film. It's a romantic comedy and when there's a funny seen the dog starts laughing. A little later on there's a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying.
This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out. In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, "That's truly amazing!"
"It certainly is" The dog owner replied, "He hated the book!"
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Third wife
Doctor: U look exactly like my third wife.
Lady: how many wives does u have?
Doctor: two (2)
Moral: EXPRESS SMART IDEAS, SMARTLY
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Expensive Car
A Boy wth girl in a very expensive car Jaan!Mene tumse 1 baat chupai k i m already married. Girl: oh GOD !!! Tumne to dra he dia, me smjhi ye car tumari nai hai!
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A Baby
American: A Baby in our country had No Legs. We put Artificial Legs on Him, He is an Athlete now.
Russian: A Baby in our country had No Arms. We put Artificial Arms on him, He is a Boxer now.
Pakistani: A Baby in our country had No Brain. We put an Army cap on his Head, He is our President now!
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Kamzori
One woman to another: Ap ki sab sey bari taqat kia hay?
she replies. " Mera Shohar "
Aur sab sey bari kamzori?
She replied: " Tumhara shohar "
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Pathan 2 doctor
Pathan 2 doctor,Puray jism me kahin b ungli lagaon to boht dard hota hai,
Doctor sugested full body XRay,
when he checkd XRay..
found fracture in his"UNGLI"
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HEIGHT OF LAZINESS:
Boy: papa 1 glass pani de do Papa: Khud le lo
Boy: Plz de do na
Papa: Ab manga to thapar maronga
Boy: Thapr marne aao to paani lete ana :D
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Fill in the blanks
Fill in the blanks with
"Haan" or "Nahi".
1: ___ main insan nahi hon.
2: ___ main hi chor hon.
3: ___ mera koi elaj nahi.
4:____mai he pagal hon.right now...,
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Najumi
Ek Larki Najumi se:Mere liye kaun sa sitara sahi rahe ga?
Najumi: Tumhare bache kitne hain?
Larki: 11
Najumi: Tumhare liye Sabz sitara sahi rahe ga.
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Expiry Date!
Wife: Honey! What are u looking 4?
Husband: Nothing
Wife: Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?
Husband: I was just looking 4 d expiry date!
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Fastest Communications
Three fastest ways of communications are...
1: tele-phone
2: tele-vision
&
3: tell-a-woman if u still need faster...Request her not to tell anyone :-)
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TERRORIST ATTACKS
A man in US sees a dog jumping around a lady. He kicks the dog 2 death. Newspaper reports:"US CITIZEN SAVES LADY FROM DOG" Man says I'm not US citizen. So report changed:"FOREIGN HERO SAVES LADY FROM DOG" Man says actually I'm Pakistani. Next day’s headline: "MUSLIM TERRORIST ATTACKS LOCAL DOG. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Can kids of our age have kids?
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.
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Tujhey sub pata hai
Child: Papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father: Tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD: Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga!
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